Good Riddance

At one point in your life you get to ask where you really wanted to go and where you are at that very moment. You tend to destroy things, burn bridges and even intentionally hurt people just so you could make sense of what was happening of your own life. My life has been an on and off feeling of depression, alcoholism and euphoria. I used to lived and die (temporarily) of intoxication. I cannot say that I am very pleased when my 5-year relationship with her took a crumble. Sure I did ask and beg the other party for a second chance and even questioned why it happened. Alot of bargaining, I must say. But now that the dust has cleared and I can see clearly what's ahead of me, I am ready to -- embrace the person I have become over the last 5 years, forgive myself for all my shortcomings as a person and figure out where I want to go with my life and go back to my life-long dream of travelling and living off my backpack.  It was after all, a good riddance. 

Top and bottom both from Forever 21

Homesick

Its been ages since I wrote something in this blog that almost forgot I still have this. I just came back from a short vacation in my hometown, Pagadian City. And now I feel homesick. Coupled with a little stress and caffeine, I usually survive the week at work but this week's been different. I so miss Mama that I badly wanted to go home this weekend. You see, we don't get along that much. We used to fight over how I would not want to straighten up my back, how I draw my eyebrows, the shade of lipstick I wear, or how she would mispronuonced a simple word like pink. I guess the older you get, the more emotionally vulnerable you become. 

So here's a photo of Mama, in the background I know because she hates pictures, taken over the weekend at our home. 

All hail to summer

There goes this itch to blog again. Sorry for the dormancy for almost half a year. Its been crazy (oh well whose life isn’t unless you live under a rock). And an early warning to those reading this trying to figure out the point of this entry, there’s just none. I think no one really makes a point until they’re six feet below the ground. Sorry but not sorry. So summer infestation is here. Its this time of the year when I get to spend all my hard earned cash during rainy days, get a subtle tan line (coz with my skin color its really hard to achieve that), get drunk (oh yes, forget the doctor’s advice and drink as much as alcohol as I can), watch sunset or sunrise, laugh to my heart’s content, travel, and try to drown myself swimming. So Iris and I came up with this 12 weeks of summer which supposed to kick off last March 2^nd but due to financial constraints we have to delay it to the following week. Its been three weeks since and we’re approaching the 4^th week and I can say its been really great, awesome even. I can’t explain how it made me feel energized to go to work and hurry to end the week. Broke or not we see to it that we do something out of the ordinary and make it memorable no matter how simple or nonsense it is. After all, we’ve been in and out of the hospital a few months ago so we have so much things to catch up on.

Week One of Twelve. Sumilon Island. Spent the weekend on this luxurious island resort where we enjoyed the sunrise, shifting sandbar, snorkeling, kayaking and trekking.

 

 

Week Two of Twelve. Acted silly with my coworkers and drank my heart out like a college student I cant imagine how I manage to walk my way home. Haha

 

 

 

 

Week Three of Twelve. Headed to the northernmost town in the province and took the banca to get to Malapascua Island. Soaked under the sun at Bounty Beach and had a taste of the island life.

Home (at last!)

I am home - this time for real. I am savoring the last few drops of summer before the rainy days start to wreak havoc. As of writing I had just had my seafood breakfast. Yes, a plateful of blue crabs and shrimps and steamed rice from last night's dinner. Me and pop just went to the local fish port where it had an amazing sunrise view. We then took a bumpy ride going to Barangay White Beach, where I did not see a single grain of white sand. Its actually a fishing village. I wish to stay there and wait till an airplane lands so I can take a good shot but Papa's got to work. On our way home, we passed by this talipapa with all these fresh fish and seafoods. Good lord, the crab and shrimp only cost us 110php. Not bad at all! 


And can I just add that I haven't had a tinged of alcohol this weekend? Yes. But I know that's got to change as tomorrow is Papa's birthday and Mama and I are still contemplating whether to have dinner in a resto or she cook dinner for us. But I am definitely going for that karaoke night so Papa can sing his heart out. I wanted him to have a time of his life. He is turning 50, by the way. And as for the present, I really have not decided on that yet. We will see, I still have hours to think about it. And hours feel like days when you are in the province. I am attaching this photo of my pop and this should give you an idea where I have gotten all that swag. :D Later!

Death and All of His Friends

The weekend is about to end but I got at least 20 hours to savor it. My weekend is good if not for a bad news that came to me. As of writing i am currently sipping diluted Korean coffee I scored from the grocery earlier. I took a day off from work Friday and God I'm thankful I did. Started doing the dreaded laundry I've been trying to avoid for 2 months. I finished off the colored ones Friday night and I was dead tired by 9pm. Woke up at 3, famish and alone. I thought I could fight it off and tweet or instagram my way out but darn I was shaking so I headed to the nearest McDonalds where they served me coffee brewed, I guess, from last night. I wanted to make a scene and go back to the counter but I didn't. Apparently, my horoscope told me told that my day would be great if I had the right attitude for that day.

So yeah, I let it pass and set the coffee aside and instead feasted on my hot fudge sundae. While eating I decided to read again the text messages I have received while I was sleeping. So there's this one text that my sister sent around 10pm saying Ate Vivian's dead. She used to be our house helper/nanny who's been with us for 5 years. I grew up looking up to her and treating her like a big sister. She is runaway and is barely on her teenage year when she first arrive to our house. I thought I was all okay with the news and my initial reaction was like, oh well life ends at some point. Then when I took a bath it finally hit me -- that the person I first came to know as an older sibling is dead and I will never see her again. So there, I started crying and wailing like a baby in the shower. Now when I think about it, I cringe for doing that in the shower of all places. But yeah, I was like in that state for at least an hour and the whole time it was all flashbacks of good and bad memories we had. On how we used to go to church every Sunday, how she thought me how to sew not just doll clothes but as well as my own, how she would pinch me if I'm naughty, how she would climb the star apple tree in our front yard, how she made me go gaga over OPM songs and radio soap operas... There's just countless things I have learn from her. It even came to me that I could also run away from home like her. So that was it, her life ended in a snap. No one had seen it coming. I should have known the last time I met with her at the airport in 2011 that it would be the last. I should have hugged her for another second or minute even if that would mean missing my flight. Wherever she is I am hoping she is at peace.

I'm sharing this pic taken around 20 years ago. It was one summer afternoon and our chickenpoxes just healed.