Craziest year to date!

For those who stayed and left, who broke my heart and made it whole, who came and left, who made me laugh and cry, who partied and got down and drunk with me, who went on a trip and got lost with me, who dined and drank with me, who shared a toast with me, who was with me through ups and downs, who taught me a lesson and whose lives I may have touched, THANK YOU for being part of my craziest year to date. Till next year! 

Inked and Broken

I don't know what brings broken people together

Maybe damage seeks out damage

The way stains on a mattress halo into each other

The way stains on a mattress bleed into each other 

-Warsan Shire 

My retail adventure

I've always wanted to shop. The addiction started when I was in college and started earning my own money through small jobs. Growing up, our parents raised us that what's more important is the food on the table above all which explains why I am always thick. I have to manually build my self-esteem from scratch and made myself believe that I will, one day, afford and fit into the clothes you see in the magazines. So fast forward to a few years later and here I am. 

Started with thrift shopping in the "ukay-ukay" downtown then I shifted to export overruns to branded stores in the mall. My trip to the mall is not complete without me buying anything from the shops. From small accessories, kitchen needs, flip flops, books, notepads, tank top, mug, a scented candle, etc. The habit went on for years and it continued until now. Shopping can do wonders and yes, retail therapy does work -- temporarily. While my recent shopping adventures took a lot of toll from my pocket I still don't see myself quitting the habit. As they say, old habits die hard. 

So here's my recent shopping advenures that ended up in a cabinet full of clothes and a few unused clothing. 

PS: I am planning to sell a few but I have separtion anxiety. 

Fighting my own demons

I am not well and I am perfectly aware of it. Some days I am all smiles and laughters. Some days I am all grumpy and irritable. Some days I am all giddy and excited about everything. And some days I am all about worries for my future and what has been happening of my life. But I am fighting my own demons because I  know that no matter how mean, ruthless, crazy I can be, like all other humans, I deserve happiness. And that I owe it to myself to be in a happy disposition no matter what. That alot of people count on me. That there's that one person whose day I could ruin if I keep riding this rollercoaster. That somewhere in the world a newborn is struggling to complete the first 24 hours of his life. That someone's in deep coma for years and yet his family still have that tiny spark of hope that one day he comes back to life. Fight your own demons. Being depressed is not worth it. There's more to life than being sad. 

Maddening, challenging, frustrating

I used to think love is all about sweet nothings, dinner dates, hugs and kisses, love letters and flowers and sex. Then reality hit me. Its a fleeting feeling. Love is relative to the present time, state of mind and situation. Its a constant effort to stay inlove and work out whatever seemed hopeless. Its a constant battle with ones own demons, the other person's demons and all the other demons around. It's not an easy battle and sometimes you find it pointless. But at the end of the day its the feeling of having someone who shares the same heartbeat as yours that matters most or in most cases its the coffee you share the morning after or that last cigar stick from last night or the morning breath from each other, the silly hugs and kisses and teasing, the pillow fight or the morning walk haunting for food. 

Photo taken way back in 2009 using Samsung i450 camera phone. Location: Naga, Cebu